Unprecedented Times: Bards in Lockdown
My 2M
It has come to my attention
And I feel I should mention,
That I have a boundary
You should respect.
2m distance, between you and this instance
Of an ageing, opinionated, example of neglect.
However, I have noticed,
And that’s why I post this
That some of you don’t know what that is.
So, I’ve created a table,
So that you are able
To know how far to stay away is
2 Metres equals =
400 Garden Ants. (0.5cm)
83 1/3 Postage stamps (21mmx24mm)
77 Beer bottle caps (26mm)
25 Bathroom taps (8cm)
19/1000th of a football pitch. (105m)
A 400 row of neat cross stitch (0.5cm)
Just over a standard doors height (1.981m)
Or 2 x the bite of the average Great White (1m)
13/500th of a jumbo jet (76.3m)
33 1/3 of a false teeth set
7/1000th of the RMS Titanic (269m)
143/5000th of the iceberg that sank it. (70m)
Just over the height of one Donald Trump (1.91m)
Or 25 times the average speed bump (8cm)
If these numbers seem hard to explain
Its 200 times the size of <insert name of least favourite politician's> brain (1cm)
If it’s radio frequencies you think in, 144Mhz you’ll be needing
And dot dot dah dah dah dah dah, you’ll be sending.
So now that you know
From my 2m, please go
To keep yourself safe
From us poets who orate.
We’ve Got to come together while we are all apart
We’ve got to come together, while we are all apart.
For there are too many things that have sought to divide
But tonight, we clapped our hands for all those who care
Oh the noise, the cheer, and the pride.
We’ve got to come together, while we are all apart
For we can no longer partake in a hug
So, all the love we can give must be on our door step
To combat the effect of this horribly evil bug.
We’ve got to come together, while we are all apart
So, our National Health Service can start the resistance
While they tend the respirators, we flatten the curve
And we keep each other at a social distance.
We’ve got to come together, while we are all apart
Every Thursday, without fail at 8pm
To show those who fight that they are loved
And in our thoughts and one day we can all love again.
We’ve got to come together, while we are all apart
We’ve got to come together, while we are all apart
We’ve got to come together,
Rules is Rules
The rules are clear, in this lock down season
“Do not leave home for any reason”
So, what just happened? To what now are we bound?
Has another rule book just been found?
Lost for words, and I’m the Bard
What part of “stay at home” was so hard?
“Stay”, an act, opposite to leave
“At”, a point, you can perceive
“Home” the place where you reside.
I think that now the truth just died
It has come to my attention
And I feel I should mention,
That I have a boundary
You should respect.
2m distance, between you and this instance
Of an ageing, opinionated, example of neglect.
However, I have noticed,
And that’s why I post this
That some of you don’t know what that is.
So, I’ve created a table,
So that you are able
To know how far to stay away is
2 Metres equals =
400 Garden Ants. (0.5cm)
83 1/3 Postage stamps (21mmx24mm)
77 Beer bottle caps (26mm)
25 Bathroom taps (8cm)
19/1000th of a football pitch. (105m)
A 400 row of neat cross stitch (0.5cm)
Just over a standard doors height (1.981m)
Or 2 x the bite of the average Great White (1m)
13/500th of a jumbo jet (76.3m)
33 1/3 of a false teeth set
7/1000th of the RMS Titanic (269m)
143/5000th of the iceberg that sank it. (70m)
Just over the height of one Donald Trump (1.91m)
Or 25 times the average speed bump (8cm)
If these numbers seem hard to explain
Its 200 times the size of <insert name of least favourite politician's> brain (1cm)
If it’s radio frequencies you think in, 144Mhz you’ll be needing
And dot dot dah dah dah dah dah, you’ll be sending.
So now that you know
From my 2m, please go
To keep yourself safe
From us poets who orate.
We’ve Got to come together while we are all apart
We’ve got to come together, while we are all apart.
For there are too many things that have sought to divide
But tonight, we clapped our hands for all those who care
Oh the noise, the cheer, and the pride.
We’ve got to come together, while we are all apart
For we can no longer partake in a hug
So, all the love we can give must be on our door step
To combat the effect of this horribly evil bug.
We’ve got to come together, while we are all apart
So, our National Health Service can start the resistance
While they tend the respirators, we flatten the curve
And we keep each other at a social distance.
We’ve got to come together, while we are all apart
Every Thursday, without fail at 8pm
To show those who fight that they are loved
And in our thoughts and one day we can all love again.
We’ve got to come together, while we are all apart
We’ve got to come together, while we are all apart
We’ve got to come together,
Rules is Rules
The rules are clear, in this lock down season
“Do not leave home for any reason”
So, what just happened? To what now are we bound?
Has another rule book just been found?
Lost for words, and I’m the Bard
What part of “stay at home” was so hard?
“Stay”, an act, opposite to leave
“At”, a point, you can perceive
“Home” the place where you reside.
I think that now the truth just died
Andy Powell – 10th Bard of Stony Stratford